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 Captain Lepper's Valentine's Day Monologue, 2011

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Captain Leper
 
 
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Posts : 93
Join date : 2010-07-02
Age : 27
Location : Los Angeles, CA

PostSubject: Captain Lepper's Valentine's Day Monologue, 2011   Mon Feb 14, 2011 5:07 am

Greetings Ladies, Gentlemen, Pantherans, Elves, Dwarves, Fish people, Time Lords, and anything I may have missed. This is Captain Lepper, your leader of the Winged Foxes, and handsome rogue, available to all the ladies internationally. Fat women, please do not apply.

Cupid has decided to come out of hiding and unleash hell with that bow and arrow of his. I am of course talking about Valentine's Day, a day where Norune pulls out the worst looking nick-knacks ever to have been created, and try to sell it to unsuspecting idiots who give it to their wives, girlfriends, or lovers in a last ditch effort to make them believe they remembered to get them something. I, of course was never that foolish. I did my last minute shopping in the Arcand Empire... but anyway.

I would like to address one major problem: Crew Fraternization. I'm all for loving who you wish, Lord knows I go after more ladies at the bar than focus on my work, but I never let it actually INTERFERE with a mission or VITAL work. If the person you're going after or growing attracted to is starting to hinder performance in your command, or interfering with your work, for the love of all that is holy, forget about it and get back to work! I can't tell you how much that sort of thing ends up screwing things up. Just yesterday, Billy was admitted to the medical wing with a broken finger. The head of the medical staff was arguing, and he ended up coming out with his entire arm in a cast for some strange reason, and on the wrong arm, no less. The First Mate had to bandage him, and she wasn't at all happy.

Now, I would not like to point anyone out, but if you insist on loving someone outside your species, bear in mind I cannot marry interspecies couples. ... well, that's not ENTIRELY true, I CAN marry elves and dwarves together. This is more for the novelty of it, because the Brethren of the Air decided it was to be done to see what fruits can come out of such a relationship. By fruits, they of course mean anything deemed comical or funny. So if you happen to be a dwarf in love with an elf, then by all means, I can marry you. Other than that, no interspecies marriages.

Well, that's all I have to say on that. Please have a safe and happy Valentine's Day. And please, if you insist on doing the horizontal tango on the Airship, Keep it down. The ventilation shafts have very good acoustics, and we can hear everything you're doing if it's loud enough. This also impedes on work.

If you'll excuse me, Seba and Demetrius set me up with a blind date. So that means I can't drink anything offered to me and I have to pack extra ammunition.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!
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Red Bird
 
 
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Posts : 57
Join date : 2011-02-13
Age : 24
Location : Wales, United Kingdom

PostSubject: Re: Captain Lepper's Valentine's Day Monologue, 2011   Wed Feb 16, 2011 4:39 am

Hope your blind date went accordingly, Captain. Also, who said 'the tango' had to be horizontal...? ;)
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Captain Lepper's Valentine's Day Monologue, 2011

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